1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
at the time
(I WILL FInd a Gun & Do it I swear ESP. In a Movie theater or store!)
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November
that's for damn sure... there's no pictures of my dad in my birthday pictures.. (Nov. 19th birthday) !!!
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads.. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!
Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you
eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.
18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music,
anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers!
Refer back to #1!